Pour me a cup of ambition

I guess this may fall under the category “be careful what you wish for”.When I left my relationship of nearly 7years I wanted for both of us to be happy and this sentiment still holds true. I thought that maybe after making some much-needed changes in my life things would work themselves out and the pieces would fall back into place. Almost 3 months have passed and I’m feeling “happier” but still something is missing, it’s him. I still love my “ex” there’s no denying it, but what started out as a decision for the best appears to have bitten me hard on the ass.I am very thankful I’ve been able to invest time in addressing “issues” that might otherwise have been ignored had I remained in our relationship. I am also very thankful that my “ex” has had the opportunity to get back to basics and find out what really makes him happy. Unfortunately our ideas of happiness are like night and day. My “ex” has taken the creative route to happiness, his serious lack of ambition and a new found pot smoking habit has left me feeling rather light headed and heavy hearted. I am by no means judging anyone; in fact my mother and one of my siblings are avid users of pot, each having their own reasons and justifications. The point I’m trying to make is that it’s just not for me personally. I am also beginning to question the validity of a relationship when it is always being pursued during an altered state.Change is what I asked for and change is what I got.Maybe things don’t just fall into place after all, perhaps I’m using the wrong pieces of the puzzle altogether?….