20/20 Vision

It’s amazing when moments of clarity strike, on a bus, in the shower, watching your favorite television show or my personal favorite…while being on the phone with my “ex”.Without the risk of sounding to proud or pathetic I’ve always been on the defense about admitting that I still love my “ex”. Yes that’s “THE” love that I’m speaking of, not the brotherly love, family love or friendship love. I’m talking about the bona fide real deal.It’s been a little more than 2 months since I’ve left, my time has been occupied with work, family, medical professionals, help from a good friend and the uneasy feeling of growing apart. Reality Squared:I’m beginning to believe that my 10th grade math teacher was onto something when she said that mathematical problems exist all around us, and in fact control every facet of our lives. It’s the only logical explanation so far. I was absolutely terrible in math and true to form in my relationship. I’m now faced with a reality created by my own actions. I’m still in love with my “ex” who is now in love with someone new. I guess it’s not really fair to say that he’s IN love with this person, but there is a very strong interest on his part in perusing this someone new. In knowing this I have no idea which direction my life should take. Face the facts that I’ve messed up and accept my losses, or do I sit idly by hoping that things don’t work out for him? Either way both options are shitty.In retrospect I’m so tired of thinking about the situation that I almost want someone to make up my mind for me (namely the “ex”). Which is it…..Fight for the one that you love.Or obey the old adage. If you love someone let them go.